Matthew Fray is a relationship coach and writer who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage and divorce to help others avoid making the same mistakes he did. His writing has been featured in The New York Times, The Sunday Times, The Huffington Post, Babble, and many more. His blog, Must Be This Tall To Ride, has a dedicated following and has reached millions of readers. Filtered through the lens of his own surprising, life-changing experience and his years counseling couples, his book THIS IS HOW YOUR MARRIAGE ENDS: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships exposes the root problem of so many relationships that go wrong: we simply haven’t been taught any of the necessary skills.

Why did Matthew’s marriage go south? How did a call to a therapist motivate him to turn his experience into a blog and later a book? What’s the dating reality for people in their 40s? Matthew discusses all of this and more in this insightful episode.

What you will Learn in this Episode

• How we accidentally damage our relationships via habits that we honestly don’t know are harmful. This is how good people end up being “bad” spouses.
• How few things can destroy relationships as reliably as inequality in our shared domestic responsibilities (usually housework and parenting).
• Why the quality of intimacy correlates closely with how competently we manage and participate in this shared domestic work. Men, in particular, should take heed. If she feels like your mom, she’s not going to want to sleep with you.
• Why two relationship-damaging habits “invisible” to many people are especially harmful because we often don’t notice them or the paper-cut wounds that build up because of them — our tendency to invalidate others’ emotional experiences when we disagree with them; and our frequent failure to consider a partner’s emotional wants and needs when making decisions due to thoughtlessness or forgetfulness.
• That relationships require safety and trust in order to survive and thrive. Unfortunately, many people are blind to the ways we accidentally erode trust or take away another’s sense of safety through our daily routines. Our relationships crumble to the point of no return, often while one or both partners are too busy or distracted to notice.

Where to buy Matthew Fray’s This is How Your Marriage Ends

Amazon | Bookshop.org

Visit https://matthewfray.com/ for more information.

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